Thanks for the detailed feedback! A few questions below - all that don't have questions have been resolved in my new local copy.
> On Aug 28, 2018, at 7:33 AM, Michael Sweet <msweet at apple.com> wrote:
>> Smith,
>> I really appreciate you tackling this update! Apologies in advance for the length of this editorial feedback (going through the same thing myself with the 5100.5 update):
>> - Filename should be wd-ippjobprinterext2v20-yyyymmdd.ext
> - Title should be "IPP Job and Printer Extensions - Set 2 v2.0 (JPS2)
> - Abstract appears to be truncated and probably needs some editorial love.
> - The IPP workgroup boilerplate on page 4 should be removed (not in current template)
> - Global: Change all "type3 keyword" to "type2 keyword"
> - Global: Change "The 'foo' Something Something attribute" in the attribute descriptions to just "This attribute"
> - Section 4 appears to have the "4." in the title twice
> - Section 5 (REQUIRED OPERATIONS) should be moved after the attributes and renamed "New Operations" (for consistency with our current spec template)
> - Sections 6, 7, 9, and 10 should be brought under a new section 5 "New Attributes"
> - Section 5.1 Operation Attributes
> - Section 5.2 Job Description Attributes (or Job Status Attributes since job-save-printer-make-and-model appears to be set by the Printer during processing and thus should be READ ONLY)
> - Section 5.3 Job Template Attributes
> - Section 5.4 Printer Description Attributes
> - Section 8 (Additional Semantics) should come after Section 11 (Additional Values)
> - Add new Section 8.1: Get-Jobs: which-jobs to talk about new which-jobs values
> - Section 8.1: make section 8.2 Hold-Job: job-hold-until-time
I think it would read better if it was "8.2 Hold-Job operation" and then the 8.2.1 heading listing the name of "job-hold-until-time"
> - Section 8.2: make section 8.3 Set-Job-Attributes: job-delay-output-until, job-delay-output-until-time, job-hold-until-time
I think it would read better if it was "8.3 Set-Job-Attributes operation" and then the 8.3.x headings listing the names of the various attributes.
> - Section 10.11 should be made a subsection of job-delay-output-until-time
> - Section 10.13 should be made a subsection of job-hold-until-time
> - Section 10.35 should be made a subsection of save-info
> - Section 10.40 should be made a subsection of save-name
I think the reader would be more likely to look for these in the Printer Description attributes section, but I moved them to where you recommended.
> - Section 11: New Values for Existing Attributes (drop semantics here)
> - Section 11.1: Drop "Printer Description attribute" from title
> - Section 11.2: Just "which-jobs (type2 keyword)" - which-jobs-supported inherits everything from which-jobs
> - Section 11.3: Drop "Job Description attribute" from title
> - Section 11.3.x: Move to corresponding Job Template attribute definitions
I am not clear on what you are recommending that I do about these...
> - Section 11.4: Delete (part of MSN2)
> - Section 11.5: Move to section 5.3 Job Template attributes under a new "media-col (collection) Extension" section.
> - Section 12: Just "IANA Considerations", we don't need the Semantic Model registration stuff anymore
> - Section 12: Should come after section 14 (Security Considerations)
> - Section 12.1: Attribute Registrations
> - Bring back the "Conformance Requirements" section (missing!) - it should go before the Internationalization Considerations section
How did I drop that one? :p
> - Section 13: Drop UTR20 (not needed for IPP and no longer being maintained by the Unicode Consortium...) and make sure you don't lose the advisory text from the current WD template - UTR17, UTR23, and UTR33 are informational (non-normative) so the SHOULD is not appropriate.
I copied over what is in the template
> - Section 14: Use the standard boilerplate text for now. We'll probably want to add more once we settle on the final content.
I copied in what is in the template. (BTW, the template has an indented "Implementations of this specification..." paragraph that should be outdented.
> - Add an "Overview of Changes" section before the Change History section with an "IPP Job and Printer Extensions - Set 2 v2.0" subsection to provide a high-level list the changes in the v2.0 update.
> - Add a "Deprecated Attributes" section after the "New Values for Existing Attributes" section (empty for now)
>> Once we get closer to prototype I'll work with you on the registration templates - they'll need a significant amount of work... :/
>>>> > On Aug 28, 2018, at 8:06 AM, Kennedy, Smith (Wireless & Standards Architect) <smith.kennedy at hp.com> wrote:
> >
> > Greetings,
> >
> > I have posted a new "Initial Draft" of IPP Job and Printer Extensions Set 2 v2 (JPS2v2). This was created using the published final PDF draft to ensure a start from the wording that was finalized. I have made a number of editorial changes that are all preserved in the -rev version in case there are objections. The primary set of changes involved moving all the Printer Description attributes out of sub-sections of the "Job Template" section to the "Printer Description Attributes" section.
> >
> > https://ftp.pwg.org/pub/pwg/ipp/wd/wd-ippjobprinterext20-20180828.docx <https://protect-us.mimecast.com/s/0a51CPNlvlc4zKYDSran-x?domain=ftp.pwg.org>
> > https://ftp.pwg.org/pub/pwg/ipp/wd/wd-ippjobprinterext20-20180828.pdf <https://protect-us.mimecast.com/s/18NACQWmwmF6vkGDu9I6wS?domain=ftp.pwg.org>
> > https://ftp.pwg.org/pub/pwg/ipp/wd/wd-ippjobprinterext20-20180828-rev.docx <https://protect-us.mimecast.com/s/RgqbCR6nxnhr4v9KH06cDS?domain=ftp.pwg.org>
> > https://ftp.pwg.org/pub/pwg/ipp/wd/wd-ippjobprinterext20-20180828-rev.pdf <https://protect-us.mimecast.com/s/8J2SCVOrBrclqxr4Cr5Lsb?domain=ftp.pwg.org>
> >
> > I propose using this as our starting point, but please chime in if you don't like how this was produced. I will separately post slides to facilitate discussion about the changes HP would like to see in JPS2v2.
> >
> > Cheers,
> > Smith
> >
> > /**
> > Smith Kennedy
> > Wireless & Standards Architect - IPG-PPS
> > Standards - IEEE ISTO PWG / Bluetooth SIG / Wi-Fi Alliance / NFC Forum / USB-IF
> > Chair, IEEE ISTO Printer Working Group
> > HP Inc.
> > */
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > ipp mailing list
> > ipp at pwg.org> > https://www.pwg.org/mailman/listinfo/ipp <https://protect-us.mimecast.com/s/U5NECW6vDvhjr57pIBG2yf?domain=pwg.org>
>> _________________________________________________________
> Michael Sweet, Senior Printing System Engineer
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