IPP> IESG feedback and AD review of IPP documents

IPP> IESG feedback and AD review of IPP documents

ned.freed at mrochek.com ned.freed at mrochek.com
Fri Jun 8 18:05:49 EDT 2001


Attached below are review comments on a bunch of IPP documents. Some of
these have been reviewed by the IESG; others await AD approval prior to
initial IESG presentation. They are grouped together primarily because
the IESG review in general and IANA/RFC Editor review in particular
raised a bunch of issues that affect all of these documents regardless of
status.

				Ned
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draft-ietf-ipp-implementers-guide-v11-02.txt
Internet Printing Protocol/1.1: Implementer's Guide [informational]

The RFC Editor reports that the abstract of this document is too long.
I suggest moving the IPP overview material that is currently in the
abstract to the introduction.

The document mentions [IANA-CS] but there is no mention in the 
references section. I suspect it should be something like:

   [IANA-CS]   IANA Registry of Coded Character Sets:
               ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/character-sets

The reference to [RFC2567] needs to be updated.  The I-D string
draft-ietf-ipp-req-03.txt needs to be replaced with RFC 2567 and
the date needs to be updated to April 1999.

There's a missing closing brace on the [RFC2568] entry in the
references section.

The meaning of the security consideration section of this document is
unclear. It currently says:

6  Security Considerations

   This section corresponds to the RFC2911 Section 8 "Security
   Considerations.

It needs to say something like:

6  Security Considerations

   The security considerations given in RFC2911 Section 8 "Security
   Considerations" all apply to this document. In addition, the
   following section describes security consideration that have arisen
   as a result of implementation testing.

****

draft-ietf-ipp-job-printer-set-ops-03.txt
Internet Printing Protocol (IPP): Job and Printer Set Operations
[proposed]

First, a question/comment about registration procedures. If I
understand this stuff correctly, a new operation manifests in
two places: (1) As an operation a client can ask the printer
to perform and as a new attribute value a printer can return
when asked for the "operations-supported" printer attribute

If this is indeed the case, then shouldn't new operations result
in two registration entries: A new attribute value in the
attribute-value area under the operations-supported attribute
and a new operaiton in the operations area? If so, then I believe
it would be appropriate to indicate the new attribute values
created by this document in a new section 10.5.

The abstract of this document is much too long. The overview
material that is currently in the abstract needs to be moved to the
introduction.

The references to ftp.isi.edu throughout section 10 need to be
changed to ftp.iana.org. I would also suggest making them valid
ftp URLs.

The IANA has requested that the registrations in this document be
clarified. The authors are welcome to contact the IANA directly about
these concerns, however, based on the feedback from the IANA and
my comment above I suggest changing section 10 to read:

10 IANA Considerations

   This section contains registration information for IANA to add to the
   various IPP Registries according to the procedures defined in RFC 2911
   [RFC2911] section 6.

    Note to RFC Editors:  Replace RFC NNNN below with the RFC number for
    this document, so that it accurately reflects the content of the
    information for the IANA Registry.

10.1 Operation Registrations

   The following table lists all operations defined in this document.
   These are to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.4.

   Operations:                                       Ref.      Section:
   Set-Printer-Attributes                            RFC NNNN       4.1
   Set-Job-Attributes                                RFC NNNN       4.2
   Get-Printer-Supported-Values                      RFC NNNN       4.3

   The resulting operation registrations will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/operations/ area.

10.2 Attribute Registrations

   The following table lists all attributes defined in this document.
   These are to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.2.

   Operation attributes:                             Ref.      Section:
   printer-message-from-operator (text(127))         RFC NNNN       5.1
   job-message-from-operator (text(127))             RFC NNNN       5.2

   Printer Description attributes:                   Ref.      Section:
   printer-settable-attributes-supported (1setOf type2 keyword)
                                                     RFC NNNN       6.1
   job-settable-attributes-supported (1setOf type2 keyword)
                                                     RFC NNNN       6.2
   document-format-varying-attributes (1setOf type2 keyword)
                                                     RFC NNNN       6.3
   printer-message-time (integer(MIN:MAX))           RFC NNNN       6.4
   printer-message-date-time (dateTime)              RFC NNNN       6.5
   printer-xri-supported (1setOf collection)         RFC NNNN       6.6
   xri-uri-scheme-supported (1setOf uriScheme)       RFC NNNN       6.7
   xri-authentication-supported (1setOf type2 keyword)              6.8
   xri-security-supported (1setOf type2 keyword)     RFC NNNN       6.9

   The resulting attribute registrations will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attributes/ area.

10.3 Status code Registrations

   The following table lists the status code defined in this document.
   This is to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.6.

   Status codes:                                     Ref.      Section:
   'client-error-attributes-not-settable' (0x0413)   RFC NNNN       7.1

   The resulting status code registration will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/status-codes/
   area.

10.4 Out-of-band Attribute Value Registrations

   The following table lists all out-of-band attribute values defined in
   this document. These are to be registered according to the procedures
   defined in RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.7.

   Out-of-band Attribute Values:                     Ref.      Section:
   'not-settable' out-of-band value                  RFC NNNN       8.1
   'delete-attribute' out-of-band value              RFC NNNN       8.2
   'admin-define' out-of-band attribute value        RFC NNNN       8.3

   The resulting out-of-band attribute value registrations will be
   published in the ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/
   out-of-band-attribute-value-tags/ area.

10.5 Additional values for the "operations-supported" Printer attribute

   The following table lists all the new attribute values defined in
   this document as new "operations-supported" type2 enums. These are
   to be registered according to the procedures defined in RFC 2911
   [RFC 2911] section 6.1.
   
                                        Value        Ref.      Section:
   Set-Printer-Attributes               0x0013       RFC NNNN       4.1
   Set-Job-Attributes                   0x0014       RFC NNNN       4.2
   Get-Printer-Supported-Values         0x0015       RFC NNNN       4.3
  
   The resulting attribute value registrations will be published in the

     ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attribute-values
       /operations-supported/

   area.

****

draft-ietf-ipp-collection-04.txt
Internet Printing Protocol (IPP): The 'collection' attribute syntax
[proposed]

I believe some corrections for this document were posted to the
ipp list. If so, since a new draft needs to be posted anyway you
might as well attend to them as part of the update.

The RFC editor reports that the abstract is too long. I suggest
moving the overview material to the introduction.

In the "References" section, reference [RFC2910] needs to be
updated.  The I-D string and month and year need to be removed from the
citation and replaced with RFC 2910, September 2000.

In section 9.1 the reference to ftp.isi.edu needs to be changed to
ftp.iana.org.

The IANA requests that the registrations in this document be clarified.
The authors are welcome to contact the IANA about these concerns, however,
based on the feedback from the IANA I suggest changing section 9 to read:

9  IANA Considerations

   The following table provides registration for the "collection"
   attribute syntax defined in this document. This is to be registered
   according to the procedures defined in RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section
   6.3.

    Note to RFC Editors:  Replace RFC NNNN below with the RFC number for
    this document, so that it accurately reflects the content of the
    information for the IANA Registry.

   Attribute Syntaxes:                            Ref.      Section:
   collection                                     RFC NNNN         3

   The resulting attribute syntax registration will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attribute-syntaxes/
   area.

Note that I have eliminated section 9.1 entirely.

****

draft-ietf-ipp-job-prog-02.txt
Internet Printing Protocol (IPP): Job Progress Attributes [proposed]

MUST is used without a definition (I missed this during my review -- sorry).
You need to add the usual section referencing RFC 2911 or RFC 2119.

Feedback from the RFC editor is that the abstract is too long.
It needs to be broken into "Abstract" and "Introduction" sections.

The reference to ftp.isi.edu in section 4.1 needs to be changed to
ftp.iana.org. I would also suggest making this a valid ftp URL.

Section 4.1 also isn't clear that it is registering the sheet-collate,
job-collation-type, sheet-completed-copy-number,
sheet-completed-document-number, and
impressions-completed-current-copy attributes.

Given the last two issues, I suggest changing 4 to read:

4  IANA Considerations

   The attributes defined in this document shall be
   registered by IANA according to the procedures in RFC 2911
   [RFC2911] section 6.2. The following table lists all such
   attributes in this document as well as the required registration
   information:

    Note to RFC Editors:  Replace RFC NNNN below with the RFC number for
    this document, so that it accurately reflects the content of the
    information for the IANA Registry.

   Job Template attributes:                        Ref.      Section:
   sheet-collate (type2 keyword)                   RFC NNNN       1.1

   Job Description attributes:                     Ref.      Section:
   job-collation-type (type2 enum)                 RFC NNNN       2.1
   sheet-completed-copy-number (integer(0:MAX))    RFC NNNN       2.2
   sheet-completed-document-number (integer(0:MAX))RFC NNNN       2.3
   impressions-completed-current-copy (integer(0:MAX))
                                                   RFC NNNN       2.4

   The resulting list of registered attributes will be published
   in the ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attributes/
   area.

****

draft-ietf-ipp-not-05.txt
Internet Printing Protocol: Requirements for IPP Notifications
[informational]

The RFC editor reports that the abstract is too long.  It needs to be
broken into "Abstract" and "Introduction" sections.

In the "References" section, references [RFC2567], [RFC2568], and
[RFC 2569] need to be updated.  The I-D strings need to be removed from
the citations and replaced with the RFC number and date published
(e.g., [RFC2567] - replace draft-ietf-ipp-req-03.txt, November 1998,
with RFC 2567, April 1999.)

****

draft-ietf-ipp-not-spec-06.txt
Internet Printing Protocol (IPP): IPP Event Notification Specification
[proposed]

The RFC editor reports that the abstract is too long. The IPP overview
material needs to be moved to the introduction.

In the "References" section reference [IANA-CON] needs to be updated.
The I-D string and month and year need to be removed from the citation
and replaced with BCP 26, RFC 2434, October 1998.
 
The IANA considerations section needs work. In addition to having the
same problems as previous IPP documents, I believe section 13.2 is
out of whack. This document defines a number of new operations and as
part of that it defines new attribute values for the
operations-supported attribute. But it doesn't define the
operations-supported attribute itself, as this section sort of
indicates.

Whether or not the new attribute values for operations-supported
attribute need to be listed as new attribute values independent of
enumerating the new operations themselves gets back to the issue I
raised in draft-ietf-ipp-job-printer-set-ops-03.txt. In that
document they weren't listed and I added them. I think this is what
section 13.2 needs to do.

Another issue with the IANA considerations section is that it
doesn't mention the "notify-schemes-supported" attribute. Should
it? (Note that I didn't add it below since I wasn't sure that
it should be there.)

I therefore suggest all of section 13 except for section 13.7
be changed to something like:

13 IANA Considerations

   This section contains registration information for IANA to add to the
   various IPP Registries according to the procedures defined in RFC 2911
   [RFC2911] section 6. In addition, two new registries are defined:
   One for event notification delivery methods and another for IPP
   delivery methods.
   
    Note to RFC Editors:  Replace RFC NNNN below with the RFC number for
    this document, so that it accurately reflects the content of the
    information for the IANA Registry.

13.1 Attribute Registrations

   The following table lists all attributes defined in this document.
   These are to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.2.

   Subscription Template attributes:                  Ref.      Section:
   notify-recipient-uri (uri)                         RFC NNNN     5.3.1
   notify-events (1setOf type2 keyword)               RFC NNNN     5.3.2
   notify-attributes (1setOf type2 keyword)           RFC NNNN     5.3.3
   notify-user-data (octetString(63))                 RFC NNNN     5.3.4
   notify-charset (charset)                           RFC NNNN     5.3.5
   notify-natural-language (naturalLanguage)          RFC NNNN     5.3.6
   notify-lease-duration (integer(0:67108863))        RFC NNNN     5.3.7
   notify-time-interval (integer(0:MAX))              RFC NNNN     5.3.8

   Subscription Description Attributes:
   notify-subscription-id  (integer (1:MAX)))         RFC NNNN     5.4.1
   notify-sequence-number (integer (0:MAX)))          RFC NNNN     5.4.2
   notify-lease-expiration-time (integer(0:MAX)))     RFC NNNN     5.4.3
   notify-printer-up-time (integer(1:MAX)))           RFC NNNN     5.4.4
   notify-printer-uri (uri))                          RFC NNNN     5.4.5
   notify-job-id (integer(1:MAX)))                    RFC NNNN     5.4.6
   notify-subscriber-user-name (name(MAX)))           RFC NNNN     5.4.7

   Printer Description Attributes:
   printer-state-change-time (integer(1:MAX)))        RFC NNNN     6.1
   printer-state-change-date-time (dateTime))         RFC NNNN     6.2

   Attributes Only in Event Notifications
   notify-subscribed-event (type2 keyword)            RFC NNNN     8.1
   notify-text (text(MAX))                            RFC NNNN     8.2

   The resulting attribute registrations will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attributes/ area.

13.2 Additional values for the "operations-supported" Printer attribute

   The following table lists all the new attribute values defined in
   this document as new "operations-supported" type2 enums. These are
   to be registered according to the procedures defined in RFC 2911
   [RFC 2911] section 6.1.
   
                                        Value        Ref.      Section:
   Create-Job-Subscriptions             0x0017        RFC NNNN    11.1.1
   Create-Printer-Subscriptions         0x0016       RFC NNNN    11.1.2
   Get-Subscription-Attributes          0x0018       RFC NNNN    11.2.3
   Get-Subscriptions                    0x0019       RFC NNNN    11.2.4
   Renew-Subscription                   0x001A       RFC NNNN    11.2.5
   Cancel-Subscription                  0x001B       RFC NNNN    11.2.6
  
   The resulting attribute value registrations will be published in the

     ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attribute-values
       /operations-supported/

   area.

13.3 Operation Registrations

   The following table lists all operations defined in this document.
   These are to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.4.

   Operations:                                       Ref.      Section:
   Create-Job-Subscriptions Operation                RFC NNNN    11.1.1
   Create-Printer-Subscriptions operation            RFC NNNN    11.1.2
   Job Creation Operations - Extensions              RFC NNNN    11.1.3
   Validate-Job Operation - Extensions               RFC NNNN    11.2.1
   Get-Printer-Attributes - Extensions               RFC NNNN    11.2.2
   Get-Subscription-Attributes operation             RFC NNNN    11.2.3
   Get-Subscriptions operation                       RFC NNNN    11.2.4
   Renew-Subscription operation                      RFC NNNN    11.2.5
   Cancel-Subscription operation                     RFC NNNN    11.2.6

   The resulting operation registrations will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/operations/ area.

13.4 Status code Registrations

   The following table lists the status codes defined in this document.
   These are to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.6.

   Status codes:                                     Ref.      Section:
   successful-ok-ignored-subscriptions (0x0003)      RFC NNNN      16.1
   client-error-ignored-all-subscriptions (0x0414)   RFC NNNN      16.2

   Status Codes in Subscription Attributes Groups:
   client-error-uri-scheme-not-supported (0x040C)    RFC NNNN      17.1
   client-error-too-many-subscriptions (0x0415)      RFC NNNN      17.2
   successful-ok-too-many-events (0x0005)            RFC NNNN      17.3
   successful-ok-ignored-or-substituted-attributes (0x0001)
                                                     RFC NNNN      17.4

   The resulting status code registrations will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/status-codes/
   area.

13.5 Attribute Group tag Registrations

   The following table lists the attribute group tags defined in
   this document. These are to be registered according to the procedures
   defined in RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.5.

   Attribute Group Tags:                             Ref.      Section:
   subscription-attributes-tag                       RFC NNNN       18
   event-notification-attributes-tag                 RFC NNNN       18

   The resulting attribute group tag registrations will be published in the 
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attribute-group-tags/
   area.

13.6 Format for Event Notification Delivery Method Registration
     proposals

   This section describes the procedures for registering Event
   Notification Delivery Method proposals with IANA to be used with this
   document.  Such Delivery Method proposals that require a new URL
   scheme MUST be defined by an IETF standards track document according
   to RFC 2717 [RFC2717].

Section 13.7 also needs work. The problem is that it lists a number of
requirements registrations must meet, but doesn't specify a mechanism
for reviewing registrations to see that they meet these requirements.
This is necessary; see RFC 2434. Needless to say, the process once
defined needs to be followed by subsequent notification mechanism
drafts.

****

draft-ietf-ipp-indp-method-05.txt
Internet Printing Protocol (IPP): The 'indp' Delivery Method for Event
Notifications and Protocol/1.0 [proposed]

This material in table 1 doesn't make sense to me:

   8.  What are the latency and
       reliability of the transport   itselfs(see [RFC2911]).IPP/1.1
       and delivery protocol?

   9.  What are the security aspects              15
       of the transport and delivery
       protocol, e.g., how it is      See section 
       handled in firewalls?

Section 6.2.1 talks about adding a value to the notify-schemes-supported
attribute. Where is this attribute defined? I cannnot find it anywhere.

Section 12.2 and elsewhere. I don't see any reason why you cannot go ahead
and get a port allocated for IDNP now, rather than waiting for it to be
done for you later. (According to the IANA web page all you need to
have is a published internet-draft to put the registration in.) Doing it
yourselves insures that the port number appears in all the right places
and also cleans up the IANA considerations section. (Note that the
separation of the IANA and RFC Editor functions has made IANA
registration actions that then require document revision somewhat
awkward.)

The first two paragraphs of section 12.5 appear to be unnnecessary
duplicates of the first two paragraphs of section 12.1, and should
be deleted. (Unless, of course, I'm missing something.)

The IANA considerations section needs work. I suggest it be changed to
something like the following.

13 IANA Considerations

   IANA shall register the indp URL scheme as defined in section 12.

   The rest of this section contains the exact information for IANA to
   add to the IPP Registries according to the procedures defined in RFC
   2911 [RFC2911] section 6.

     Note to RFC Editors:  Replace RFC NNNN below with the RFC number
     for this document, so that it accurately reflects the content of
     the information for the IANA Registry.

13.1 Operation Registrations

   The following table lists the operation defined in this document.
   This are to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.4.

   Operations:                                       Ref.    Section:
   Send-Notifications operation                      RFC NNNN   8.1

   The resulting operation registration will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/operations/ area.
   
13.2 Additional values of existing attributes

13.2.1 Additional values for the "notify-schemes-supported" Printer
       attribute

   The following table lists the additional value for the
   "notify-schemes-supported" uriScheme attribute value that has
   been defined in this document. It will be registered by IANA
   according to the procedures in RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.1.

                                                     Ref.    Section:
   indp                                              RFC NNNN  6.2.1

   The resulting attribute value registration will be published in the

     ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attribute-values
       /notify-schemes-supported/

   area.
   
13.2.2 Additional values for the "operations-supported" Printer
       attribute

   The "operations-supported" type2 enum attribute value defined in this
   document will be registered by IANA according to the procedures in RFC
   2911 [RFC2911] section 6.1. The attribute value to register is:
   
                                        Value       Ref.    Section:
   Send-Notifications                   0x001D       RFC NNNN  6.2.1

   The resulting attribute value registration will be published in the

     ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/attribute-values
       /operations-supported/

   area.

13.3 Status code Registrations

   The following table lists the status codes defined in this document.
   These are to be registered according to the procedures defined in
   RFC 2911 [RFC2911] section 6.6.

   Status codes:                                   Ref.     Section:
   successful-ok-ignored-notifications (0x0004)    RFC NNNN    9.1.1
   client-error-ignored-all-notifications (0x0416) RFC NNNN    9.1.2

   The resulting status code registrations will be published in the
   ftp://ftp.iana.org/in-notes/iana/assignments/ipp/status-codes/
   area.

****

draft-ietf-ipp-ops-admin-req-00.txt>
Internet Printing Protocol (IPP):  
Requirements for Job, Printer, and Device Administrative Operations
[informational]

This document appears to have expired, in spite of the fact that
you asked for publication as Informational back on 19 Sep 2000.
Is the intention still to publish it? In any case, I have reviewed it
and my comments appear below. If the intent is not to publish it is
no big deal.

The first paragraph of the abstract is unnecessary and should
be deleted.

Abstract, second paragraph. The word "OPTIONAL" should not be
capitalized in this context.

Abstract, third paragraph. "The scope of IPP, is characterized" ->
"The scope of IPP is characterized" 

The fourth and subsequent paragraphs of the abstract do not belong
in an abstract. If there is a desire to retain them they should be
moved to some sort of "overview of IPP" section.

The word "MAY" is capitalized at various places in this document
and should not be.

All references to ipp-mod and ipp-pro should be replaced with
RFC 2911 and RFC 2910, respectively.

Section 4. This makes it sound like this document actually
registers some operations with IANA when in fact it does not.
The reference to the obsolete RFC 2566 doesn't make sense
either, nor does the FTP path. I suggest that this section simply
be removed; an informational requirements document like this
would only have IANA considerations if it imposed requirements
on possible new registries in this space, and as far as I can
tell it doesn't do anything like that. But if the section
is to be retained it needs to be reworded to talk about
possible IANA registration requirements while making it clear
that nothing is actually being registered. 

Section 6. The security considerations given are about IPP in
general; they need to be rewritten or amended to deal with
issues specific to administrative operations.


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