Some comments:
1. Line 18: There is a plethora of document editors, not all of whom are
listed here.
2. Line 26: Should we have a link to the IDS section of the PWG wiki?
3. Lines 35-36: IEEE 2600-2008 and its brethren /do /address HCD services
that that don't immediately involve a local user (for examples:
storage/retrieval on an MFP's document server, or sending a fax from a
PC client through an MFP). I'm not sure what to suggest as replacement
text.
4. Footnote 1: Is it more modern to use the term "Image Character
Recognition" rather than "Optical..." (since optics may not be
involved)? Or is it better to just use the term that is more widely
used (and understood?). I don't know...
5. Lines 39 and 40: No need to put quote marks around Cloud (unless
you're being sarcastic ;-) ).
6. Lines 40-42: That last sentence should be more specific, such as by
appending "...in a Cloud Computing environment".
7. Line 48: To account for the trend toward continuous monitoring and not
just log aggregation, could we reword as follows: "deployed in
enterprise *and government *environments *to provide continuous
monitoring and analysis of* security-related ...".
8. Lines 56-57: Slightly better wording, I think: "Hardcopy devices...
*have not been widely integrated into these new assessment protocol
schemes, in part because* there is no standardized set...".
9. Is it premature to mention IEEE 2600.1 supporting documents, even
vaguely, in the IDS charter?
--
Regards,
Brian Smithson
PMP, CSM, CISSP, CISA, ISO 27000 PA
Security Research, Planning
Advanced Customer Technologies
Ricoh Americas Corporation
bsmithson at ricohsv.com
(408)346-4435
--
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