attachment-0002
<html><head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=us-ascii">
<meta content="MSHTML 6.00.6000.17104" name="GENERATOR"></head>
<body>
<div><span class="593471318-12122011"><font face="Arial" color="#0000ff">Sorry
for the re-send, the mail archive scrubbed the text of the
email</font></span></div><br>
<blockquote dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT:0px">
<div class="OutlookMessageHeader" lang="en-us" dir="ltr" align="left"> </div>
<div></div>
<div><font face="Arial">Comments against November 2, 2011 draft of Sys.
Object and Sys. Control Service Semantics </font></div>
<div> </div>
<div><font face="Arial">Line 20: should be model includes, not model
include<br>Line 23: clarify what "all the conditions" means; also should be
Subunit not Subunits.<br>Line 28: left justify text at the bottom of the cover
page<br>Line 104: Table of contents alignment needs to be fixed (right justify
page numbers)<br>Line 176: the word object needs upcasing<br>Line 177:
duplicate Imaging Device.<br>Line 182: missing word, should be "requests to
modify the System Object's"; also not really comfortable with the word "data"
at the end of that sentence<br>Line 194: should be referencing the RFC for the
conformance terms<br>Line 204: reword to ...mat them to applications and
communication..."</font></div><font face="Arial">
<div><br>Line 208: rework this section to remove the statement about compound
services and workflow protocols not being addressed in this specification as
to being<br>because of the Charter. The fact is that this document doesn't
address these topics so just say that. At some point in the future the
Charter might <br>be updated to address these topics.<br></div>
<div>Line 220: Reword the last sentence to remove the "abstract
consideration"...<br>Line 222: The font of this section does not match the
rest of the text in the docukment. Also need to refer to Figure 1. in the text
of this section<br>Line 240: is SystemcontrolService Clients the same as
System Client?<br>Line 247: extra period at the end of the sentence<br>Line
248: incorrect figure reference (should be Figure 2)<br>Line 261: incorrect
reference to PWG 5108.01; not the right title.<br>Line 246: Figure 3 is not
reference in the text<br>Line 272: broken reference<br>Line 278: not sure the
table caption needs to state that these are "new elements" also there's no
reference to this table in the text and the font in the table is too
large<br>Line 281: the word DeviceS's needs fixing<br>Line 288: need a space
between the 2 and the word lists<br>Line 293: remove the word "new" from the
table caption, not all of these are new. Also the description of
ConfiguredServices and ServiceInstance is exactly the same<br>need to
differentiate the two elements.<br></div>
<div>Line 298: last sentence is mis-worded<br>Line 310: No reference to this
figure in the text of the document.<br>Line 344: Shouldn't this be for either
table 3 or table 4 notes?<br>Line 351: wrong table reference here as well as
in Line 344.<br>Line 357: Should be notes for table 3 and 4???<br>Line 381:
IsAcceptingJobs/....should be set to 'false' here NOT 'true'<br>Line 394: Need
a period at the end of the sentence<br>Line 401: Extra period at the end of
the sentence<br>Line 401: Should be Table 5 NOT Table 3.<br>Line 407:
throughout the section symbol is used for internal references but here the
word "paragraph" is used.<br>Line 409: Figure text is unreadable (make figure
larger)<br>Line 412: Need page break before Table 5 so entire table is on the
same page.<br>Line 421: Grammar error and the sentence needs clarifying;
should be ...the SystemControlService MUST accept this request and
transition<br>all the currently active Job-based Services....." (transition
not transitions; and clarify which service your talking about here.<br></div>
<div>Line 428: Same comment as for Line 421.<br>Line 437: need single quotes
around 'true'<br>Line 437: What does "Note that parameters control subsequent
behaviour (See below)" mean??? and where's BELOW in both cases in Line
438.<br>Line 439: need a period at the end of the sentence.<br>Line 450: Same
comment as for Line 437/438.<br>Line 474: last sentence is a duplicate of the
sentence in Line 472.<br>Line 485: last sentence is a duplicate of the
sentence in Line 484.<br>Line 506: broken reference<br>Line 514: need period
at the end of the sentence.<br>Line 516: need to improve the work breaks in
the last column. (adjust column widths and text size)<br>Line 526: Grammar
error (sentence beginning with the word AND)<br>Line 530: not sure what
"conformance issues" we are describing here (need a better word)<br>Line 533:
Need to clarify that this is talking (presumably) about the System Client as
discussed earlier and replace the word client with System Client.<br>Line 542:
need period at the end of the sentence.<br>Line 553: The font of this list
item is larger than the others<br>Line 563: bad reference (shouldn't be to
Table 1).<br>Line 576: This list item isn't really a conformance requirement
for a conforming implementation as the section introduction implies.<br>(move
it to the top of the section in the introduction or remove
completely.<br></div>
<div>Line 578: Is this specification really "Abiding" by the guidelines or
simply "Consistent with" (also Line
581,584).</div></font></blockquote><br />--
<br />This message has been scanned for viruses and
<br />dangerous content by
<a href="http://www.mailscanner.info/"><b>MailScanner</b></a>, and is
<br />believed to be clean.
</body></html>