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Comments against November 2, 2011 draft of Sys. Object and Sys. Control
Line 20: should be model includes, not model include
Line 23: clarify what "all the conditions" means; also should be Subunit
Line 28: left justify text at the bottom of the cover page
Line 104: Table of contents alignment needs to be fixed (right justify page
Line 176: the word object needs upcasing
Line 177: duplicate Imaging Device.
Line 182: missing word, should be "requests to modify the System Object's";
also not really comfortable with the word "data" at the end of that sentence
Line 194: should be referencing the RFC for the conformance terms
Line 204: reword to ...mat them to applications and communication..."
Line 208: rework this section to remove the statement about compound
services and workflow protocols not being addressed in this specification
as to being
because of the Charter. The fact is that this document doesn't address
these topics so just say that. At some point in the future the Charter
be updated to address these topics.
Line 220: Reword the last sentence to remove the "abstract consideration"...
Line 222: The font of this section does not match the rest of the text in
the docukment. Also need to refer to Figure 1. in the text of this section
Line 240: is SystemcontrolService Clients the same as System Client?
Line 247: extra period at the end of the sentence
Line 248: incorrect figure reference (should be Figure 2)
Line 261: incorrect reference to PWG 5108.01; not the right title.
Line 246: Figure 3 is not reference in the text
Line 272: broken reference
Line 278: not sure the table caption needs to state that these are "new
elements" also there's no reference to this table in the text and the font
in the table is too large
Line 281: the word DeviceS's needs fixing
Line 288: need a space between the 2 and the word lists
Line 293: remove the word "new" from the table caption, not all of these
are new. Also the description of ConfiguredServices and ServiceInstance is
exactly the same
need to differentiate the two elements.
Line 298: last sentence is mis-worded
Line 310: No reference to this figure in the text of the document.
Line 344: Shouldn't this be for either table 3 or table 4 notes?
Line 351: wrong table reference here as well as in Line 344.
Line 357: Should be notes for table 3 and 4???
Line 381: IsAcceptingJobs/....should be set to 'false' here NOT 'true'
Line 394: Need a period at the end of the sentence
Line 401: Extra period at the end of the sentence
Line 401: Should be Table 5 NOT Table 3.
Line 407: throughout the section symbol is used for internal references but
here the word "paragraph" is used.
Line 409: Figure text is unreadable (make figure larger)
Line 412: Need page break before Table 5 so entire table is on the same
Line 421: Grammar error and the sentence needs clarifying; should be ...the
SystemControlService MUST accept this request and transition
all the currently active Job-based Services....." (transition not
transitions; and clarify which service your talking about here.
Line 428: Same comment as for Line 421.
Line 437: need single quotes around 'true'
Line 437: What does "Note that parameters control subsequent behaviour (See
below)" mean??? and where's BELOW in both cases in Line 438.
Line 439: need a period at the end of the sentence.
Line 450: Same comment as for Line 437/438.
Line 474: last sentence is a duplicate of the sentence in Line 472.
Line 485: last sentence is a duplicate of the sentence in Line 484.
Line 506: broken reference
Line 514: need period at the end of the sentence.
Line 516: need to improve the work breaks in the last column. (adjust
column widths and text size)
Line 526: Grammar error (sentence beginning with the word AND)
Line 530: not sure what "conformance issues" we are describing here (need a
Line 533: Need to clarify that this is talking (presumably) about the
System Client as discussed earlier and replace the word client with System
Line 542: need period at the end of the sentence.
Line 553: The font of this list item is larger than the others
Line 563: bad reference (shouldn't be to Table 1).
Line 576: This list item isn't really a conformance requirement for a
conforming implementation as the section introduction implies.
(move it to the top of the section in the introduction or remove completely.
Line 578: Is this specification really "Abiding" by the guidelines or
simply "Consistent with" (also Line 581,584).
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